my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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