I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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