I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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