i just google imaged poop.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
My dick has a subreddit
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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