the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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