I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
