wanna go halves on a baby?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize