Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
