What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
did i just pee glitter
My apartment stinks of burning failure
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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