Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
