how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
babies were throwing up all over the place
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Randomize
