What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
The struggles of a small town man whore
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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