A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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