I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
