I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize