remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
