I can feel you judging me through the phone.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
