Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize