He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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