saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
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