All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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