But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
