everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I think im going to throw up on grandma
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize