I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Damn victory sex feels great
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
