They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
