he thought i was a dude.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
