i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
