there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
