Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
