do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
