were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
