Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize