youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
