they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
