I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Just invented taco cereal.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
