Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
