Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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