is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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