the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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