Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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