i need an iv and a liver transplant
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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