he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
