There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
