i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
