he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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