What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
