Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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