i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
