Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
