um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
