I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
