I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
being pregnant is like rehab
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Randomize
