youre lurking in front of me
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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