your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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