absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
