the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
