You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i just sent this text using only my big toe
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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