Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
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