big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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